my very own fav.

I've been busy with games, plans and all sorts of things and I've been trying to push myself to blog out things but I just never had the time or motivation to blog. I wanted to blog but I just never really have any things to say. Right now, as you can read from my twitter post, I've been spending most of my time watching several videos and playing StarCraft. I've wanted to play since I don't know when. I think when I heard Kyu was crazy about it years ago.

I finally played the game when I watch the Progamer episode with Hyung Joon and that documentary on National Geo and when I knew my brother actually have the game already. I was taking mental notes a few weeks ago, telling myself to buy StarCraft but we actually have it and there's goes my time dedicating to StarCraft. My race is Zerg since I saw Hyung Joon playing it and I personally like Zerg. Haha. Personally, I like Zerg, I think their builds are easier to understand but hard to perfect.

And as you may predict I have my own favourite progamers and team. Looks up. Haha, I think they are just adorable. With the way they are sincerely helping Hyung Joon, giving him tips and sacrificing some of their practise time. They are awesome. I also like Bi-Su even though he doesn't talk much and there were several history between him and my current favourite team. I haven't seen Lee Jae Dong play so I can't say much. But I have to say Gyung Jong is my absolute favourite and he's a Zerg too so that's awesome. And he's awesome!

Alright enough of StarCraft. A few weeks ago I found out something new about myself. I actually have this thing call selective muting in myself. But not in a super serious way but I do find myself muting to several people. I can't bring myself to talk or communicate. But I think my problem is mainly not knowing how to socialise, how to be the first to open things up. I prefer if other people start talking to me first. I don't like being the first to strike up a conversation. I think I have to improve that and just try and deal with the problem.

I also recently found out how ignorant I am. I just realised how ignorant I am about people around me and things around me. Sometimes, I like it that way because I don't need to care about what's going on in other people's live but at some period of time it can be a negative thing when you act very ignorant and selfish. Being ignorant can also seem like you are being rude and just plain annoying. So, I try to be as open as possible and listen to other's opinion and says.

Whosh. Too many typing. Headache! :D

till then

- w a i

you are just another boy.

Blog, blog, blog. I told myself to update but I never got around to do it. Mainly because, I'm busy, too many works to do, my time is limited to other things such as rest. Haha. I don't know what to blog out because, apparently nothing much went on in my life for the past few weeks. Well, there's National Day celebration a few weeks ago and Maulud Nabi celebration last Thursday.

There's a lot of celebration going on but I'm actually pretty excited to be part of it. It's like, I finally experience the preparations hands on and all, it was certainly an experience. Also, I've been trying to stay positive for the past few weeks and I'm really hoping I'll stay optimistic. I know I can. Oh yeah, I finally finish one of the things I've started doing in 2010 and I am super glad I finished. *random.

Eish, too many random post up there. I should just strike through each and every word I've just type but I'm gonna leave them there. Oh! Did you know there's like gizzilions dramas about to air and it's like fighting for our attention, like LITERALLY. I am anticipating Bad Guy with Kim Nam Gil (Bi Dam!), Personal Taste with Son Ye Jin and Oh My Lady with Siwon. (Woooot!) Not to forget, there's also Paradise Rance which I'm gonna be nervous foooor. I don't know how B #2's gonna do but I hope he does well, as I've always said, I have faith in him. :D

I'm gonna end this post now, I'll try updating soon with a much more meaningful content next time.

till then

wai.

because i chose you.

I am so not ready but I need to be.

When was the last time I updated? Wednesday, and now it's already Sunday. For the past few days, all I did during my spare time was rest, rest, TV, videos and more TV. I'll be busy starting tomorrow, so expect a less updated blog. I'll try to update but if time is limited, that seems like a difficult thing to do. But then, there's always twitter. :)

Anyway, my month has been quite challenging because my mood is constantly changing, it's like very unstable. I guess it's because I'm nervous and my feelings are all like madness. Haha. I just hope I will be able to get through everything positively. I hate it when I'm a total hot-head and hot-tempering person. It's just never nice. I told myself to keep that resolution. That was the one thing I found hard to do. I can be very hot-tempered, I'm not even kidding. I find it scary myself.

Haha. Now, now, enough with that. I just hope 2010 will be a better, productive year. I want it to be a better year than before. Do you know what I hate the most? Not knowing what to expect. I don't like it when things are not going the way I plan it to be and that's just wrong. I hate that in me but not knowing what will happen makes me nervous. I personally think, I'm really hard to understand cause one day, I'm up and the next day I'm down. It's never consistent and sometimes very contradicting. So, let's just hope I don't get confuse more in 2010. Whaaaat?

Alright, I have to go. Badminton is on. :)

till then

- w a i

fearing the future, it's not an option.

Even in my age now, I'm the same as before

As timid as before

I only learn how to pretend to be strong.

~ No way to say - Ayumi Hamasaki.

(Translation by masa)

I'm currently listening to Ayumi Hamasaki's ~A Complete~. I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about it. I remember how much her song helped me through my teenage years. I think most of Ayu's song is almost like a soundtrack to me. It's like that one song which I hold onto and will never let go. I can listen to it over and over again and never get bored of it. Ah, I'm feeling a bit sentimental about this. I love her song to bits. I still love her and her songs. What I love so much about her song is that, it's real. You feel the same way, it's not fake. It's also very introspective and artistic.

My favourite is No way to say but then I actually love every single song she had produced and released. I may sound bias here, but I love her songs. It's deep, it hits the heart. I can actually cry when I listen to her albums. And whenever she performs, I just can't help but admire her. She always does her best and it's just lovely. I think I tend to talk about Ayu frequently. I just think, personally, she's one of the best entertainer/singer/songwriter who I have seen. She's true, never fake and always does her best in everything.

I think I've said this once in my blog, but If I were given a chance to attend anyone's concert, I would pick Ayumi's. The first time I saw her concert, I was blown away. It was almost like it's the best concert I've seen ever. It's entertaining filled with heart-felt performances which is always warm to the heart. The performances are always packed with surprises so you can't really help but enjoy the whole concert altogether. I wish I went to one of her tours. I mean like, seriously. Haha. There's a couple other concerts I would like to go to, but I'll post that out some other time.

till then

- w a i

everything is my life.

One of the most difficult thing to do is to support yourself and others at the same time. But, you did all of that, I'm proud, :)

Alright, Haha, back to reality! Next week, we'll be busy. I'm actually feeling very nervous but let's just hope for the best. I wanted to update, but I forgot what I wanted to talk about, haha. I hate this, when I sat, I had things I wanted to type in but when this window finally opens, zero, nil, nada. Let's just see where this goes.

Dreams, wishes, hopes, I had this as title a few days ago. I thought to myself, dreams, wishes and hopes, why do we have all this? I realise after watching a documentary, how much this three words helps you to be successful in life. With dreams, wishes and hopes, you can set your minds onto things. You have a purpose, you have aims. I understand how important those three things are now. I asked myself, what were my dreams, wishes and hopes? I don't want to take it lightly so I told myself to think about it hard and strive to fulfill it. I'm on way, I think. I'll get there. Insya-Allah. :)

Now, let's put that aside. Do you know I like watching fanfic trailers? Well, I do. I watch a lot of them so it's really like one of my interests. What I like about this videos, is that the makers are very creative. I mean, it takes talent to mix scenes from different movies or dramas to make a whole new story. The very first fanfic trailer that I watch was with YamaPi and Maki, I think I was in the whole Kurosagi mood at that time. That's when I found, a fanfic trailer for SUICIDE NOTE. I think, until now, it is still my favourite fanfic trailer. I just love the tracks, scene, blending and characters chosen. Haha, but then I think I'm bias, because during the promo, TRAX's song was use. I love TRAX. :)

till then

- w a i

something i said or didn't say?

I hate self-doubting myself. You know that feeling, it's hard to take in.


I never really knew how much I love writing until I read my old scribbling book. I guess, looking through the old times can be a good thing too. Yesterday, I spent an hour or so, reading through the old book, Wow. It was refreshing, remembering things you forgot. Even those things that made me happy back then, still put a smile on my face.

Anyway, I was reading Kyuhyun (BB!)'s interview last night and I can't help but say aww. Every single answer, word, expression, he is precious. I think he is just too precious, he has come a long way. I remember the day I first saw him in U. I went, awesome voice. He had this really awkward personality in him and that makes me love him more. When, he sang in K.R.Y live, I was impress every single time.

A month before his first year anniversary, 20th of April, I saw the news. Even before I finished reading, I cried, tears filled in my eyes. When, I saw the sentence 'the most injured and had a fractured hip'. I cried. And the updates weren't really helping, he was slipping through in and out of consciousness so it was really a heartbreaking day for me. Now, I'm amazed, amazed by his talent, well, actually everything. He's one precious, miracle boy, I tell you.

Alright, enough about Kyuhyun. I officially now, know how much I cringe when I watch a romantic movie or drama. It's not that I hate romantic moments, I just think some dramas and movies exaggerate this term. The things they say or do to make things seem 'loving' is just not my cup of tea. I think I am more of a comedy-mystery-action-light stuff person. I can be up for a little romance but it's just never really at the top of my choice. But, I do like some romantic movies such as; Doremifasolasido and when I say like, that means I watch the movie without fast-forwarding any of the stuff. I guess, I am very picky with movies and dramas, but I don't really think that is wrong. Haha.

till then

-w a i

and you are one of them.

I finally finished Thirteen Reasons Why last night. I'm so glad I read this book. & Of course, thank you to my sister who sent over the book. :) I've been wanting to read this book since I stumble it in a book-review blog. I was interested in the summary. The book tells the story of Hannah Baker who died, took her own life actually. It explains the thirteen reason why she decided her life should end.

She tells this reasons using tapes and we're reading through Clay's point of view. It's like a duo narrative writing. He's one of the reason she died, sort of. I started reading the book, scared. Haha, yes, I was actually scared cause the story itself sounds scary and haunting. But I brought myself to flip the book over, page by page. No, the writing made me turn the pages. To be honest, I liked the book. No, I love the book. I'm actually listening to those 'tapes' from youtube. Just like how I imagined it to be.

What I like about this strong book by Jay Asher is that it's well written. It's painfully honest, real, I think. This book teaches you something, show you something, teach you the meaning of consequences. It will make you realise that a small thing to you may lead to a painful memory to others. What I also like about this book is that, even though we know the clear ending to the story, Jay Asher was able to keep us reading, wondering, wanting to know; how, why, what the reasons were. And considering this is his debut novel, I think he did amazing. In words, this book is hauntingly beautiful and will always stay in the readers mind for a very long time.

till then

- w a i